LETTER

LETTER

I’ve had mornings when I found it impossible to get out of bed.

There were days when I wished I could lock myself up in the cupboard and say goodbye to the world and then there were times when I simply couldn’t deal with myself...

I’ve been through hard times, confusing situations and moments of agony...

And I have to let you know this: 

I couldn’t have dealt with all that madness without you, my love…

Your presence was like an everlasting, blissful sunshine and I was drawn to you almost instantly – you put me in a trance and I was your slave. But once I held you close, you immediately ignited a sense of awakening in me like never before, made me feel so….so ALIVE!

But you didn’t stop there, did you? You endured soul crushing, agonizing tests and trials to finally join me. You wanted to give me the best of yourself – your best qualities. You gave yourself without restrictions. You tolerated my mood swings and tantrums and always sat there in silence, so full of warmth and unwavering compassion. There were times when I may have forgotten you, skipped our meetings or gotten mad at you without a reason or just because sometimes I felt you weren’t the way I wanted you to be. And there were times when I took all my stress and rage out on you. But you seemed to just absorb it all in silence. You would even allow me to change you and willingly endure modifications and additions the perfection freak in me thrusts into your original form of life, thanks to my mercurial whims and fancies. And you always made adjustments, ever so smoothly blending in. You never once complained nor did you ever let me down. You tried to adapt yourself to my tastes and desires and yet you never failed to give me the best of your individuality. Somehow you always lived up to your true self. I adore you for that quality.

You came to me every day with different surprises, and never failed to leave behind a beautiful, lasting flavour in my being and the essence of cheer and high spirits. Every time I met you, I was sure my day was going to be amazingly fresh and bright and full of colour. You even helped me think straight when my mind was clouded with confusion. You kindled my creativity. My mind felt heady with euphoria-as if I was literally up in the air, floating among the clouds…

I was overwhelmed with cheer and tranquillity because of your presence, my sweetheart.

I was heady with aspiration and motivated to take on challenges and these feelings grew in bounds with every meeting of ours …

My nights were like never before. I could hardly sleep and I was sure it was an effect of the way you captivated my soul and filled it with your blithe spirit.

Our love grew and grew and all of a sudden I realized I could not imagine a life without you. Truth be told, there was a stage when I started to worry that I might have become overly possessive about you. People around me even started to throw hints at me that things were getting out of hand. I began to fear that this craze could destroy me or weaken me. I did not want weakness. The only thing I wanted was to feel alive…

So then I decided to slow things down. That’s when I foolishly resolved to try to stay away from you, my love – to try to see if I really could live my life without being so utterly and desperately attached to you. I knew I was being selfish but. But I needed to feel that I was capable of being self-sufficing. If not for me, well, at least to disprove the people who criticized our relationship.

Even then, you were ever so understanding and completely non-judgmental. You gave me my space, you always did. You did nothing to make me feel guilty of my erratic decisions. Like the times I kept obsessing over how you must present yourself and what kind of fragrance you should wear and just about every little detail about you. That’s the thing that always melted my heart.

So you let me go freely but subtly reminded me that I didn’t have to completely avoid you. And you were right. Every time I bumped into you, I would be drawn immediately.

I wondered how someone who gives you so much warmth could be bad for you. I began to question myself while you just stood there smiling. That’s when I began to see what you’ve been trying to tell me all this while – the truth that your immaculate soul had been trying to inject into my mind. It was simple, although hidden: You, my love; were not meant to be indispensable like lifeblood. You were but meant to be a guiding light – a beacon of warmth, inspiration, peace, happiness and clarity, vowing to help me be the best of my abilities. You never meant to become a fixation or an addiction. Rather, you were born to be the harbinger of comfort and salvation – a trusty ally in my journey, whenever I needed one. You did not come into my life to lay claim to it, making me feel inadequate or incomplete without you. You came to strengthen the best qualities in me or even to simply put a smile on my face.

It all hit me at once with the kind of clarity which, without doubt, only you could rub off on me, my dear!

Now that I have come to understand your purpose in my life, I try sincerely to strike the right balance in our relationship because, honey, I just cannot imagine having to be torn away from you again.

Yes, there will be times when I may throw caution to the air and just surrender myself to your companionship without second thought. I know for certain that at such times you will let me enjoy your company without being judgmental and when the need arises, you would pour some sensibility back into me. That’s why you’re the best, my dear.

And so with that divine realization, I profess my everlasting love for YOU -the one true love of my life...

..My precious, my dearest,

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